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songs of desperation
i played them for you
I would explain this, but I don’t feel like being coherent. It’s early. So you can interpret this as you wish.
And um I haven’t ficced in forever and I don’t know what your original feels for this picture were, but these thoughts kind of came flying at me and punched me in the face.
It hit him without pretense, without a warning. Lucifer’s ravishing of his mind still left him fragmented and random.
“Did you know, Dean? I can’t… I can’t feel them anymore.”
“Cas, what are you talking about? Cas? Cas!”
Dammit. They finally had a plan for destroying Dick. Cas was a mess, sure, but he had been functional. Now as Dean caught the heap of trench coat before he met the ground the hunter was once again hit with the fact that Cas was broken. Maybe more than he had let on.
Son of a bitch.
Kneeling on the cold floor next to the impala, Castiel gripped Dean’s shoulders and smiled. It was distant and pained and Dean hated it because all he could see in that expression was a future that was not so much a future as it was a curse.
“Dean, I am… I’m alone. I have been alone before, but this…”
Dean shook him perhaps a bit too roughly, wanting nothing more than to get that fucking smile off of his face. He’d worn one so much like it for so long and he didn’t want anyone else to fall to that level. Especially not Cas.
“Cas what are you talking about?” Dean asked, voice scratching against gravel. Then he remembered. “…the Garrison?”
Castiel’s smile slipped away and in its place was a gasping breath that refused to be a sob because he was an angel of the lord and he would not break to this but he was so alone. Even cut off from heaven before he had felt that buzz at the back of his mind. Now there was only silence.
He knew all too well the feeling of losing a connection that had been there all of one’s existence. Only this was many times over. And over. So Dean pressed their foreheads together and tried to convey this. This was pain and loneliness and darkness but Castiel was not alone. They could not replace his brothers or sisters, but they would not let him fade.
“Cas…” His voice was nothing more than a whisper but Castiel seemed to understand, just like he has always understood Dean. The replying murmur of his name was smooth and rich but glass and before he knew it was happening Dean leaned in and caught Castiel’s open mouth in his own. Arms wound around his shoulders and gripped tight because everything was so close to falling apart but they refused to let it happen.
The impala watched silently over the fallen angel and risen hunter as they wordlessly pressed against each other, fully aware that they were once against facing the end of everything they knew.
#do you know what this looks like #like they just kissed the crap out of each other #like they were finally on their own so they jumped each other #and now they’re feeling awkward #but in like two seconds they’ll be kissing again
Destiel S&M (x)
Remember that part in 7x17 where Dean hugged Cas and thanked him for agreeing to try saving Sammy? Haha, yeah me too.
Castiel and Dean picture from “The Born Again Identity” airing March 23.
YOU’RE IN A CAR WITH A BEAUTIFUL BOY
Can I just point this out…? It was always my headcanon that Cas marked Dean with “love,” but, yeah, IT’S CANON, YOU ALL SEE IT, IT’S HAPPENING.
Sorry, I know there are a lot of posts about the E!online poll out there already…
But if you’ve got a spare moment, remember to vote for Cas and Dean! It’d be nice to see our boys pull through. :)
dedicated to dinaga . Future Cas & Dean (because I wanted to draw Cas smiling).
It occurred to me that maybe Castiel didn’t die in 2014. It’s possible Lucifer would want to punish Cas for choosing humanity over him, and orchestrated events so that Cas would survive the ambush only to find Dean dead in the garden, his mission failed. The only friend he had now gone, Cas now has to face the rest of his human life alone, and without purpose.
Actually. My heart actually seized up and hurt watching Supernatural tonight and it weirded me out and I have never felt so emotionally upset over a TV character, ever.
And I only just got into Supernatural fandom recently. I finished 6 seasons in like what, a month?
So here’s some Destiel, because I will actually burst into tears and cold sweats if I don’t put my energy into something right now.
Would it kill the writers to stick in a much deserved bro hug for Castiel? :(
Since this is probably asking for a bit too much:
UGH, ALL THAT UST. ALL THE PAI—N. </3
As a viewer, I feel SO unfulfilled right now.
(Minor spoilers for 7.01 and 7.02 in the next bit, I suppose.)
What I WISHED happened near the end of “Meet the New Boss”: